I just knew before I had kids I wanted to be with them full time. I had been a nanny and worked with kids in many capacities over the years. I was so sure I would love being at home all the time. When Rufus was born I stayed home with him for nearly two years and loved so much about it. But you know what? I was also bored. So bored. And it was so hard! The idyllic moments I had imagined were not in the majority.
Read MoreShelter in place has manifested many beautiful moments of parenting and mindfulness. This is not that. I am a mother stuck in the nebulous places between productivity, caregiving, and a nervous breakdown.
I need to acknowledge that I am writing this from a very lucky position. I am privileged that my husband is still working at this point, from home, and it seems relatively stable for the time being. I am also in the fortunate position of being able to be flexible with my work while Rufus is at home with me all day, and I want to acknowledge that right off the bat. However, I have always thought that motherhood was made up of endless decision making, and I am feeling it more than ever.
Read MoreAll around the country, and especially in the PNW, family photography sessions slow way down following the holidays. Babies keep being born, couples get engaged, and bellies swell and so family photography doesn’t completely stop in Seattle, but most photos that are not time sensitive are pushed back until summer or fall. I continue my fine art school photography, work on the back end of my business and wait for busy season. But is this truly necessary? I don’t think so. There are a few factors that tend to make family photos so seasonal and I would love to address them!
Read MoreThis week I was thinking about all of the beautiful mothers I photograph. They teach me so much. From weird parenting wins to feeling seen in this modern day motherhood thing, which can be isolating and scary at times. I have decided that my new goal is to share more of these stories. I want to learn more from these mamas. One of the biggest things that I think we lack these days is community. Yes, there is the internet and books, but knowledge and fb groups are not the same as the tight knit communities we used to raise children in, filled with many generations and support.
Read MoreSometimes I think about how much I love Rufus. I think about how the sound of his cry makes me shoot out of bed and go running down the hallway. I think about how much I ached and yearned for him when I thought he might not be at all. I think about how a giggle from him, the arch of an eyebrow, can undo me completely
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