Posts tagged depression
WHY MOMS NEED TO GET IN THE PICTURE...AND WHY IT IS SO HARD

The Struggle to Get in Front of the camera

When Rufus was almost a year old I scheduled family photos to be taken with the ever lovely Lora Grady.  I ended up postponing those pictures for a week. One week turned into two, turned into three. Suddenly it was a month later and I still didn’t feel ready.  I was waiting to lose weight, see if my thin hair would thicken back up, have the perfect outfit. I was waiting for a magic day when I would feel great about myself. I am lucky my photographer was also by bff, and she gently encouraged me (ie forced) me into photos. I haven’t looked back since. 

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Self Portraits + My History with Depression and Eating Disorders | Seattle Portrait Photographer

Sometimes I feel so much joy and beauty, that my heart breaks thinking of losing it. Sometimes I am faced with so much nameless fear that I can’t move. I took photos while I was going through this pattern I know so intimately this summer (2019).

A few weeks after I turned 25, I found myself sitting in a hotel lobby outside of Philadelphia with my parents, panic filling my esophagus with acid, watching the Oscars with the other guests and feeling the most surreal I had ever felt. The next day I would check into an inpatient treatment facility for girls and women with eating disorders and all of the other mental illnesses and burdens that accompany them.

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